I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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