This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
