Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
