i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
