dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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