wanna go halves on a baby?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
did you just send me my own nude
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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