I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize