I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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