He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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