Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
