People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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