How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
love makes seman taste better
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
