Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
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I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
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Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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