I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
