His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I need to sanitize my soul.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
