i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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