problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
