you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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