guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
When are your genitals available?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
