people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
