We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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