whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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