he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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