I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
