I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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