So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
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She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
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He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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