Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
