I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
