But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
