Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
