i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
