That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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