i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
