Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
