you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
wow bdsm is so cute
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
