This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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