If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
