so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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