so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
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can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
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this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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