Your tits are I can't wait for
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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