Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
