Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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