Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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