it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize