maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
