I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
