im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I am one with the molecules
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
