I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
