Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
