Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Found your dick twin last night
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
