I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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