My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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