I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
