After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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