I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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