I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
