so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
