The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
