Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You ruined the universe
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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