No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
