Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
