did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
