Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
