she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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